Thirty-nine minus fifty
This was a big year for me, in a lot of ways. I quit working for the Roman Catholic church; I traveled more among Friends online and in person than ever before; I found a new calling and I started jogging regularly for the first time ever. But more than anything, the biggest visible change - which everyone I see regularly has noticed, but not my blogging community, for obvious reasons - is that I lost 50 pounds this year.
Yes. That's a lot. Especially for a short person like me. But it had to be done, just to get back in the green area of my doctor's BMI chart. I feel much better. And part of my celebration is to put it here in writing, where I can refer back to it when necessary.
Here is the list of goals I set at the beginning, with commentary in hindsight:
1. Wear my blue dress to my 20th high school reunion (Check! Having the reunion at the end of last summer was kind of like the carrot in this process. However, I pulled the same dress out of the closet a few weeks ago to try on for another event and realized it's now way too big. Like five sizes too big. I put it in the Goodwill box. This was maybe the first time my eyes actually accepted that I really look different now.)
2. Not develop diabetes (This was more like the stick. I have several risk factors for early onset Type 2 diabetes, and weight is one of the few I can control. Whenever I felt like this was too much work, I would ask myself, would I have time to deal with it if I developed diabetes? Then I have time to deal with this now, before it's an emergency. One of my best friends has Type 1, and I know how serious it can be.)
3. Be taken more seriously (This had originally had to do with going to speak at FGC and PYM last year, but in life, it is an unfortunate but true consequence of being overweight.)
4. Run with my kids (I have two young sons with whom I like to play soccer, tennis, tag. As one friend of mine said after losing some weight, "if someone gave me a twenty pound bag of sand to carry around, would I do it?" I've put both of mine down.)
5. Feel sexy with my husband (Let me give my sweetheart credit, he loves me no matter what. But I think it's safe to say that we're both happier when I feel better about myself.)
6. Use less of the world's resources (I no longer so obviously consume more than my share.)
Here's my new goal:
Weigh about the same/be in better shape when I turn 40.
It feels really strange to write about this in public. Almost as hard as writing about a mystical experience. But it's not like I could hide it from anyone who's actually seen me lately, and I know this is something that other people struggle with, so it feels more like integrity to be honest about it in this forum as well.
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