Thirty-nine minus fifty

As regular readers of this blog may remember, I turned 39 last month. For the first time.

This was a big year for me, in a lot of ways. I quit working for the Roman Catholic church; I traveled more among Friends online and in person than ever before; I found a new calling and I started jogging regularly for the first time ever. But more than anything, the biggest visible change - which everyone I see regularly has noticed, but not my blogging community, for obvious reasons - is that I lost 50 pounds this year.

Yes. That's a lot. Especially for a short person like me. But it had to be done, just to get back in the green area of my doctor's BMI chart. I feel much better. And part of my celebration is to put it here in writing, where I can refer back to it when necessary.

Here is the list of goals I set at the beginning, with commentary in hindsight:

1. Wear my blue dress to my 20th high school reunion (Check! Having the reunion at the end of last summer was kind of like the carrot in this process. However, I pulled the same dress out of the closet a few weeks ago to try on for another event and realized it's now way too big. Like five sizes too big. I put it in the Goodwill box. This was maybe the first time my eyes actually accepted that I really look different now.)

2. Not develop diabetes (This was more like the stick. I have several risk factors for early onset Type 2 diabetes, and weight is one of the few I can control. Whenever I felt like this was too much work, I would ask myself, would I have time to deal with it if I developed diabetes? Then I have time to deal with this now, before it's an emergency. One of my best friends has Type 1, and I know how serious it can be.)

3. Be taken more seriously (This had originally had to do with going to speak at FGC and PYM last year, but in life, it is an unfortunate but true consequence of being overweight.)

4. Run with my kids (I have two young sons with whom I like to play soccer, tennis, tag. As one friend of mine said after losing some weight, "if someone gave me a twenty pound bag of sand to carry around, would I do it?" I've put both of mine down.)

5. Feel sexy with my husband (Let me give my sweetheart credit, he loves me no matter what. But I think it's safe to say that we're both happier when I feel better about myself.)

6. Use less of the world's resources (I no longer so obviously consume more than my share.)

Here's my new goal:

Weigh about the same/be in better shape when I turn 40.

It feels really strange to write about this in public. Almost as hard as writing about a mystical experience. But it's not like I could hide it from anyone who's actually seen me lately, and I know this is something that other people struggle with, so it feels more like integrity to be honest about it in this forum as well.


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Blogger Gregg Koskela said...

Brave, amazing, healthy...wow. Good for you on so many levels. Thanks for risking.

3/02/2007 4:52 PM  
Blogger Robin M. said...

Thank you, Gregg.

For anyone who's wondering, because I know I would be, if I met you for the first time last summer, I would have been about a third of the way into this process then.

3/02/2007 8:49 PM  
Blogger Linda said...

Hooray for you! I'm so glad you posted. I especially appreciate all the many reasons for your goal, and your commentary on each. Very encouraging!

3/02/2007 8:51 PM  
Blogger kathy said...

Way to go! That's a wonderful accomplishment all for amazingly good reasons. Well done.

3/03/2007 10:02 AM  
Blogger Liz Opp said...

Very cool, Robin! So does this mean that in Boston, I might have to count on YOU to recognize ME...? smile

This reminds me of the decision and commitment I made when I was around 43 to begin working out regularly, in order to stave off osteoporosis, for which I am at fairly high risk. I haven't looked back since.

Liz Opp, The Good Raised Up

3/03/2007 10:24 PM  
Blogger Robin M. said...

Yeah, Liz, I grew my hair out too, but I think I'm still recognizable.

Thank you, Linda and Kathy.

3/04/2007 1:35 AM  
Blogger Laurie Chase Kruczek said...

I think this is very inspirational to read, not that your blog isn't always inspirational :) but in that you took the challenge and completed your goals so effectively. Really great for you, Robin! Yay!

3/10/2007 3:16 AM  
Blogger Angelique said...

Robin, congratulations on your weight loss. I must say that I DID notice when I saw you last month at Eagle Pizza (fundraiser for the preschool), but I didn't want to harass you about it. I was dying to ask you, though. You look fabulous and I bet you feel good, too. I find it inspiring since I would like to lose weight for almost all of the same reasons you did. Good for you!

5/01/2007 1:06 AM  
Blogger Robin M. said...

Laurie, thanks. It is just one of those things about motherhood and our spiritual journeys that there aren't a lot of measurable goals to achieve. In the last year, my weight saga and running have given me clear, quantifiable goals to work on and it has been very satisfying to watch myself reach them. I have to figure out a way to set realistic and measurable goals for writing too.

Thank you too, Angelique. It's funny to me now that no one mentioned anything to me when I had lost the first twenty pounds or so, I think because no one wanted to imply that they noticed that I needed to lose it, which is sweet. But by now, it's so obvious that more people feel more brave about bringing it up.

My latest accomplishment was wearing my actual high school graduation dress to the prom-themed preschool fundraising party last weekend. It's not really a formal prom dress, but IT FITS, for the first time in maybe 20 years. As I said before, I have to celebrate any measurable goals I can find.

5/01/2007 2:19 PM  

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