In the presence of God and these our Friends

I remembered this morning why I come to yearly meeting.

20 years ago, I went to Pacific Yearly Meeting for the first time with my husband and our two year old child. The first day was pretty horrible. It was super hot. Eating and sleeping in a new place was a challenge for our two year old. And his parents. We were all pretty cranky. But then he had a really good time at the children’s program. He woke up the third morning saying, “Mommy? I want to go to schooool.” (The preschool program was in a kindergarten classroom.) So I got him to the program pretty quickly on the third day and I made it to the plenary worship for the first time.

I walked in to a meeting for worship with 400 Friends for the first time in my life. As I sat down and settled into worship, it was like sinking into a pool of cool water. I breathed more deeply. And I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit with me and among us. Over the years, I return to that experience in my mind as an example of why I come to yearly meeting.

This morning, after about 24 hours of being cranky about a range of things, I arrived at plenary worship at Philadelphia Yearly Meeting annual sessions. And I had that same sensation of sinking into cool water. Of being in the presence of God and Friends. And I remembered, this is why I come to yearly meeting.

The actual people who are here are trying. They have their issues. Some Friends aren’t here, that’s their choice. The business needs to get done. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes not. But that is par for the course of life. That doesn’t change my experience of the presence of God among Friends.

This is the most important reason why I come to yearly meeting sessions every year.

Cups of Tea and Hammer-strokes

I may be suffering from a lack of ordinariness. Most of my life, I have wished for exciting things to happen to me. And now that they are happening, I miss the simple things that I don’t have time for. Like making jam. Gardening. Sewing. Teaching First Day School. Serving on clearness committees.

Recently, I was at an international committee meeting that was hosted by Friends in a thriving meeting in a small town. I was really touched by the obvious care and concern and interwoven nature of their personal lives and their meeting life. It made me think of two passages on marriage that I love, in Catherine Whitmire’s book, Plain Living,

“We thank God, then, for the pleasures, joys and triumphs of [life together]: for the cups of tea we bring each other, and the seedlings in the garden frame; for the domestic drama of meetings and partings, sickness and recovery; for the grace of occasional extravagance, flowers on birthdays and unexpected presents; for talk at evenings of the events of the day; for the ecstasy of caresses; for gay mockery at each other’s follies; for plans and projects, fun and struggle; praying that we may neither neglect nor undervalue these things, nor be tempted to think of them as self-contained and self-sufficient.”
from London Yearly Meeting, 1960.


And a poem by Ellen Sophia Bosanquet, from 1938:

If truth be told,
It was not priest, who made us one,
Nor finger
circled with gold,
Nor soft delights when day is done
and arms enfold.
These bonds are firm,
but in death-storm
They may not hold--
We were welded man and wife
By hammer-strokes of daily life.

[Bold emphasis mine]

I think these two images, the kind gestures of the cups of tea we bring each other, and the hammer-strokes of daily life, are both key to marriage and to meeting-life.

It takes time and active participation to be part of a meeting, just as marriage takes work and attention. It’s the same drudgery of washing dishes or making a budget work. The important conversations (and cups of tea) at the kitchen table late at night or in clearness committees for marriage or membership. The misunderstandings, getting hot under the collar, practicing forgiveness and receiving forgiveness, year after year. This is what makes a meeting or a marriage.

Any marriage is part of a family made up of marriages, and part of a wider community. This is where we learn that while every marriage is unique, it has a lot in common with other people. Likewise, a meeting needs the family of yearly meeting, and a wider community of Friends, where we sometimes learn other ways of solving our problems and sometimes we learn just to be grateful for what we have, and the problems we don’t have.

I don’t think I could do the job I have now without the grounding of 17 years of being part of San Francisco Monthly Meeting, the support and the hammer-blows of our daily life together. I think I need to be more connected to my new meeting, to stay fluent in Quaker practice, and to be a coherent, spiritual human being, in order to continue to be a blessing to the wider family of Friends.

I know I couldn’t do my job without the ongoing support and dedication of my husband. I have also learned a lot that is useful in this job from being a mother. I am blessed. I am grateful.

Attending Community Meeting for Worship, 2003

Yesterday in worship, I was strongly reminded of an experience in worship at my son's school from a few years ago. Tonight, I found an article that I actually wrote about the experience at the time. I still think it's relevant, even if it's older than this blog...

Earlier this fall, after dropping my son off – actually walking with him into the school for the first time since the very first day – and going out for a quick cup of coffee with another mom, I settled into the small group of facing chairs in the Meeting Room. Since it was only the second week of school, the children still had their (brief) meetings for worship inside their classrooms. The adults – about ten parents, staff and board members – met in silence in the central hall. During that half hour, children came in and out, to visit the bathroom or other classrooms. We could hear teachers speaking and general noises of a school in session. Yet for me, the expectant hush among us was worshipful - full of the Spirit. The noises were food for contemplation, not interruptions. I had a deep sense of the power of having a core of adults worshipping together at the center of the school, with the classes going on all around us.

Nowadays, the children come in and sit in a square in the center of the Meeting Room. The adults sit or stand in rows around them. There are still noises of children (and adults) fidgeting, whispering, settling in. Last week, just for an example, my own son was so caught up in pretending to be some creature with fangs that a teacher had to remind him to hold his body still. (His sharply whispered response: “But I’m being silent!”) I try as much as possible to center down, to practice my best Sunday-go-to-meeting-techniques, but I can’t help just watching the children some of the time. However, it is a powerful image for me that now the adults are gathered around the children who are worshipping together at the center of the school. I have a sense of holding them in our arms, in our hearts, holding them up to God.

Both arrangements of meeting for worship speak profoundly of adults holding children in the Light, respecting their learning and supporting their spiritual growth. For me, this is one of the keys to Friends education. The monthly community-wide meeting for worship at SFFS has become a regular part of my spiritual practice. I am so pleased to be able to come to know my son’s school community in this way. I believe the school benefits as well from a regular period of retirement from their regular work, coming together into a quiet, open,and loving space in the midst of their everyday life.

Published in November 2003, in the San Francisco Friends School family newsletter.

You Can't Have It All

Psalm 90

Lord, thou hast been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever thou hadst formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, thou art God.
Thou turnest man to destruction; and sayest, Return, ye children of men.
For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night.
Thou carriest them away as with a flood; they are as a sleep: in the morning they are like grass which groweth up.
In the morning it flourisheth, and groweth up; in the evening it is cut down, and withereth.
For we are consumed by thine anger, and by thy wrath are we troubled.
Thou hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy countenance.
For all our days are passed away in thy wrath: we spend our years as a tale that is told.
The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away.
Who knoweth the power of thine anger? even according to thy fear, so is thy wrath.
So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
Return, O LORD, how long? and let it repent thee concerning thy servants.
O satisfy us early with thy mercy; that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil.
Let thy work appear unto thy servants, and thy glory unto their children.
And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.

There are only 24 hours in each day and we don’t know how many of those we’re going to get.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the choices we make in life. Particularly because of reading Ann Marie Slaughter’s article in The Atlantic magazine, “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All.” She wrote about how she had to choose between a very high level government job and being a good mother because of the insane hours required by her workplace. Positions of power come with a price to pay in terms of everything else in your life.

And then Tony Jones just wrote a brief blogpost about how he realized that he can’t read everything he thinks he ought to and also write everything he thinks he ought to. In fact, I think he probably could, but then he couldn’t also be a little league coach or a police chaplain or a decent father and husband, all of which he has done at some point. The ivory tower also has a price.

There are only 24 hours in each day and we don’t know how many of those we’re going to get. In my own life, I’m praying a lot lately about how to discern God’s calling in my life. Would it be better to dedicate myself to one thing, to the exclusion of all others? Is it better to balance two or three? Would it be better to do a little bit of many?

I think my husband is afraid when I talk about this that I’m going to leave him and the boys to follow God. I’m not. I’m just grateful that when Jesus said to me, drop your nets and follow me, that my husband and sons were willing to come to Philadelphia too.

I don’t think I’m designed for a single focus. I don’t think it’s quite Attention Deficit Disorder but I am interested in too many different things to be able to do just one. I think my variety of experiences has made me a better servant for God’s work. A better employee and supervisor in my office. A more interesting human being.

On the other hand, I really want to do well at my new job. I understand I have been given a great responsibility. I want to live up to my own and other people’s hopes and expectations. This morning, when I spoke about this in meeting for worship, someone else rose and said we don’t all have to aspire to greatness, or to be world leaders, it’s enough for the words of our mouths and the meditations of our hearts to be merely acceptable. Which is true. But some of us do aspire to more.

Like everyone else, I have to make choices. I have to balance the demands of my job with the responsibility of family life, but I don’t have to be a room parent or a baseball coach or teach first day school. I still sweep our floors and scrub our bathtubs but I have let go of making my own jam or sewing my own clothes or doing any gardening beyond watering my houseplants.

I work until 7 pm once or twice a week because it’s generally more productive to stay at the office than to try to take work home. However, I left work at 4:00 pm once or twice a week this spring to drive my younger son to baseball practice. I won’t attend any yearly meetings this summer besides my own locally because we’re moving house this month. But I expect to be away from home most weekends this fall.

Will it be enough? There are a thousand more things that I would like to do for work than there are hours in the day. How do we know what God requires of us more specifically than loving mercy and doing justice and walking humbly? And is it worth getting caught up in all this work and anxiety when our lives are so short in the grand scheme of things?

There are only 24 hours in each day and we don’t know how many of those we’re going to get. But as in the Psalm, “And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us: and establish thou the work of our hands upon us; yea, the work of our hands establish thou it.”

Not my will, Lord, but thine.

Sojourners Prayer of the Day 10/7/09

Spirit of God, let us be attentive to your leading. May we be open to the surprises you may lay in our path, and respond with courage and boldness to your call.

In my spare time, I subscribe to Sojourners' Verse and Voice daily email list. It comes with a social justice Bible verse, a quote from a modern religious leader, and a prayer of the day. I thought today's prayer was especially Quaker in nature.

Reflections from extended worship, and other moments of clarity

On Sunday morning, we had extended waiting worship, somewhat in the manner of San Francisco Monthly Meeting. We planned for it to last two hours, with the first half hour being loosely dedicated to Bible reading in the manner of Conservative Friends.

I was worried a little bit that this wasn’t good enough for such a big chunk of the workshop time. Would people think that we, as leaders, should be presenting more? I comforted myself with the notion that this was the period of the workshop to be led by the Holy Spirit. It turns out that two hours of worship weren’t enough. People were still going strong at the two hour mark. Should we have planned for three hours? Four? I haven’t done it that long myself, but what if we tried? I think Marcelle Martin wrote a Pendle Hill Pamphlet about her experiments with extended worship. Maybe I should re-read it.

One of the messages that I received that didn’t rise to the level of vocal ministry but seemed like a clear lesson for me came from watching the rain out the windows of the Casa de Luz.

As the clouds passed in front of the ridge across the valley, from time to time I couldn’t see the horizon. But when the forest on the horizon was obscured, I could focus better on the tree right in front of me.

One Friend read to us the parable about the farmer who sows his seed on the road, in the weeds and on fertile soil. Another Friend said to us, “Mind the fire.”

In the middle of the two hours, I noticed that the fire that had been burning hotly in the woodstove when we came in was dying down. I tried to get up and put another log on the fire quickly and quietly so that we wouldn’t get cold, but not waste too much wood since we would be leaving in another hour. By the end however, I was given to understand that you can’t stoke a fire on the cheap. It may flare up but it will also burn out quickly. You have to lay the foundation properly and put in the time it really needs. A later suggestion from another Friend: always add two logs to the woodstove at one time. It greatly increases the chances of them catching fire.

I think the same is true with ministry.

For more reports on this weekend workshop, visit the Event Coverage page on QuakerQuaker.org.

Cranky at PYM

Maybe next year M&O can schedule an open mic time for spontaneous lectures about sociology and cultural sensitivity. Because I've heard some good ones this year.

Maybe then we wouldn't have to hear them all in meeting for worship.

Just because one speaks slowly in measured tones doesn't make it ministry. At least it's not taking me to a deep place of worship.

Dear Lord, save me from my judgmental mind and from well-meaning but undisciplined Quakers. Please grant me patience, compassion, and wisdom. Help me not to hold it against each new Friend who rises that the last speaker annoyed me. Amen.

[edited 8/4, 11:17 am]

When God leads, do we follow?

[This is adapted slightly from a comment I left on a post about dancing in worship on the Emerging Women blog.]

Do you know about unprogrammed Quaker worship? Lots of silent waiting, usually a little spontaneous but solemn talking. It's often about as staid as you can get. But it doesn't have to be that way.

In our meeting's children's program a few weeks ago, we were learning about different body positions for prayer. We were testing the hypothesis that how you sit/kneel/stand/etc. affects how you pray.

My co-teacher was a 50 year old birthright Friend, who doesn't usually teach First Day School. He originally agreed to come because he had a bee in his bonnet about people slouching in worship. But he told the children a story about a meeting for worship some years ago.

One time a young man stood up and gave vocal ministry, "I feel like I should run up and down the room shouting Hallelujah." And then sat down. Because nobody does things like that in Quaker meeting.

But then a very elderly woman, a lifelong Quaker (a very weighty Friend, we would say), stood up in the silence and said, "I wish our Friend would run up and down shouting Hallelujah if God is asking him to." And she sat down. More silence. And then the young man did just that.

I've never seen something like that happen. My children were amazed. My six year old told his dad after worship that was what he remembered from First Day School.

The important thing for me is that when we preach that God can and does speak to us, as Quakers and the Vineyard folks do, we have to be willing to follow, even if we are embarrassed about the leadings we get.

A big lumpy mess o' prayer

I didn't finish the book review I wanted to publish last Friday.

I didn't write the post I wanted to have for today.

I'm still encountering situations where anger and compassion are wrestling for control of me.

My vocal ministry in meeting for worship yesterday was that unlike in writing for other human beings, I don't have to express myself in clear, precise language to bring my problems to God.

In prayer, I can just offer up the whole lumpy mess and say, God, I have this big lumpy mess. And then, often, I feel like God sympathizes with me. Which is comforting.

But in the next breath, I am reminded that God sympathizes just as much with all the other people implicated in my messiness. God already knows, right? God knows all the separate threads of what I did or didn't do or should have done. God knows the difference between my expectations and other people's commitments; what are the facts and what are my feelings about everything. Being able to relax into that sense of being known and loved helps me to tease out the separate threads for myself.

But I don't have to have it all together to pray about it.

I don't even have to know what I mean when I say God sympathizes with people.

Musicians Welcome in Unprogrammed Worship

Somewhere on some blog which I can't find anymore, Allison, a new attender at our meeting, commented about missing music in meeting for worship and wondering if artists were or felt excluded from our worship.

I mused on that for a while. Here is my answer:

It is my understanding that it is perfectly acceptable to make music in meeting for worship - what is usually frowned upon is pre-arrangement.

The point of our form of worship is to come in open to the leadings of the Holy Spirit, without having planned what God will ask us to do or say or sing. I don't know if it's happened on a week when you were in meeting for worship, but people do sing - old hymns, familiar songs, once I sang a U2 song.

Some Friends with musical gifts are often called upon to sing in worship. Called upon, not by a person, but by our worship leader: the Holy Spirit.

It is less common to hear someone play an instrument, just because it's less common that people are walking around with their trumpets, for example. But I don't think that would be wrong, any more than people bringing their Bibles just in case they might feel called to read something from it, either to themselves or out loud. You see that pretty often.

Since our worship is unprogrammed, it means that if we want to practice something together, like reading the Bible or singing, or a string quartet, we do that outside of worship. Bible study is on first and third Sundays, hymn singing on second and fourth, and other groups by arrangement. I haven't seen a spiritual string quartet (or drum and bugle corps, for that matter) at our meeting but that doesn't mean it can't happen.

The last thing I wanted to say is that in other places among Friends, there is lots of music, all by pre-arrangement and rehearsal. One time I went to the Berkeley Friends Church there was an acoustic guitar solo. The time I went to Newberg Friends Church in Oregon, there were traditional hymns and contemporary praise music, led by a vocalist with a band including piano, electric guitar and accordion, if I remember correctly.

Some African Friends churches have several choirs that all sing at every meeting for worship. There's drumming and dancing and singing, and it is part of their worship service. I've never been to Africa, but I've read and heard about it. If you read back through Peggy Senger Parson's blog, A Silly Poor Gospel, you'll find descriptions of her time in Burundi, mostly, and of their highly scripted, highly musical worship.

I hope that this helps you understand more. We need artists among us, and plumbers, social workers and librarians, bankers and people with no apparent means of support. Each may have professional skills - and other gifts they don't get to use in their work life that can come forth in the meeting community. But that's another story.

Peeing in Worship

This is a belated report on the second extended meeting for worship at SF Friends Meeting. (Click here for my report on the first of these experiments.)

Once again, the sense of spaciousness in worship was refreshing.

I once read a description of an American’s return from Europe: she really knew she was home when she was watching the weather reports on tv and seeing the diagrams of whole storm fronts moving across the country, instead of the much smaller maps of rain or sun that might cover a whole country like the Netherlands.

In this 2½ hour meeting, I had the sense of not just little breezes, or an isolated thunder shower, but whole weather fronts of the Holy Spirit having time to pass through.

At the end of meeting I gave in to a lesser prompt to get up and tell everyone about this clever image. Other folks liked it, but I know I should have sat on it and not pretended it was ministry. Unprogrammed worship is always a learning journey.

Another important opportunity for learning came because 2½ hours is pretty much too long for me to sit without going to the bathroom. Maybe you didn’t want to know that, but it’s true. What was amazing to me was my sense that being in worship didn’t stop when I stood up or walked out of the room or even while peeing. The gentle sense of heightened awareness and connection just continued all the way until I got back to my seat in the meeting room. I think the calmness that comes from knowing we have all the time we need enabled me to fret less about interrupting worship for myself and others and to simply move and be still in that great ocean of love that is God’s presence.

We will continue to hold extended worship on the next three fifth Sundays: December 30, 2007, March 30, and June 29, 2008. All are welcome.

Report on Extended Meeting for Worship

A belated report on a wonderful experiment.

Our Ministry and Oversight committee proposed that on the fifth Sunday of July, we hold meeting for worship from 9:30 a.m. until 12:00 noon, instead of our usual one hour from 11-12.

The first half hour was proposed to be Bible reading in the manner of Conservative Friends. (This was later expanded to include any holy writings.) One way it was explained was as a kind of guided meditation. As led by the Holy Spirit, a person could rise, name the book, chapter(s) and verse(s), and then simply read from the Scriptures without commentary. As it worked out, one Friend read from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, another from the Psalms, another from the Upanishads. It all felt well led.

The next two hours were simply open to waiting worship in our usual manner. It was clear in the announcement that it was okay to come later if one wanted, or to leave and come back if necessary. This allowed Friends who still wanted to just come for their regular hour of worship to come at the usual time. For me, I liked having two and a half hours. I noticed a sense of spaciousness in worship, an open feeling that was delightful. At the end, I still felt like it could have gone on longer.

In that length of time, I had the experience of feeling a nudge to vocal ministry but not the urgency, the worry about, “What time is it? Is the hour almost over? Will I get to say this before we’re done?” Instead I had plenty of time to listen to that nudge, to allow the message to become clearer, to hear what the message had to say to me personally, to consider whether it was still meant for the whole meeting, to sit with the presence of the Holy Spirit, and then to rise and deliver the whole message, when it felt ripe, without haste or confusion.

I also had the sense that this was a workman-like message. Not an earth-shaking, magical experience, but still good, basic craftmanship in vocal ministry. This is a new phase in my ministry lately – of recognizing work well done, yet calmer than has sometimes been the case in my nudges to vocal ministry.

The one thing I would do differently would be to prepare my children better. We had arranged for them to come in during the last 15 minutes rather than the first period. That was fine. But next time, I will ask the nursery worker to be sure that they have a snack before they come down to worship. Bored and hungry is not a good combination for children in meeting.

The next extended meeting for worship at SF Monthly Meeting will be September 30, 2007, at 9:30 am. All are welcome.

Faithfulness at RFMM

A couple of weeks ago, my Friend Darcy and I were invited to facilitate a Saturday retreat for another meeting in our Quarter. The theme for the retreat was “What Makes Our Spirits Soar?” with an emphasis on spiritual hospitality. The local committee had already established an outline for the day and lined up local Friends to coordinate the food, lead some singing, and handle the registrations. Darcy and I were just asked to speak and answer questions for about an hour, to lead a couple of movement activities, develop worship-sharing queries and some topics for further conversation. Great.

No problem. We did some planning by email, some by phone and one final in-person meeting. We agreed on a question for a round of introductions, then I would speak briefly about the consultation on spiritual hospitality we recently went to in Pittsburgh. Then we figured out three things that I wanted to say, and three main points that Darcy felt called to share, with some understanding of the illustrations we could use. So far so good.

On the Saturday morning, I got there a little early and had time to walk around a bit by myself, drink some tea, sit with Darcy in worship for a few minutes, and go to the bathroom three times before we really got started. The local committee had arranged a mixer activity over coffee, then singing, then worship, then us. Perfect.

Right on time, the local organizer broke worship and welcomed everyone. The introductions went fine. The brief description of the consultation went fine. But then I started in on my first point, about spiritual hospitality as a calling and a gift, but the words didn’t come. I got my notes right in front of me. I gave up and moved on to the second point, about the inward and outward forms of spiritual hospitality but it just fell flat. I paused and prayed for guidance. No luck. I read out the third point, about the connection between our individual and our corporate practice, and then no more words came to me. I stopped and prayed another silent plea. The strong sense I had was that I should stop talking and sit down. The Holy Spirit was not present in what I was trying to do. Okay, not my will, Lord, but thine, now what?

I looked around the room. I explained that one of the things Darcy and I had wanted to share was how we try to pay attention to the leadings of the Holy Spirit. “And right now,” I said, “the nudge I’m getting is to stop.” I looked around again, took a deep breath and continued, “I’m not quite sure what’s happening, but I think that now we’re going to hear from Darcy [panicked glance at Darcy] and then maybe we’ll hear what I’m supposed to say to you.” My final look around the room met some looks of patient sympathy and one man vigorously nodding his head. I sat down and looked at Darcy.

Darcy, bless her heart, smiled at me, took a deep breath, and stood up. “The nudge I’m hearing is that I’m supposed to speak now,” she quipped. The titter of laughter relieved some of the nervous tension in the room. Or at least in my gut.

She went on to speak well about saying yes to Spirit despite living in fear; about the difference between surviving in a comfortable cage versus living life fully (citing Jens Braun quoting Chief Seattle); and about how meeting people living with integrity is a big part of what attracts people to Friends.

I just closed my eyes for a while and prayed. I prayed for Darcy, that she might find the right words for the fifty or so people in the room. I prayed for myself, that I might know what else to do. I was so embarrassed. All these people had come for the day, they’d asked us to come, they’d even paid our way, and here I was, frightened and humiliated. At least I remembered to breathe.

Darcy talked a little longer than perhaps she had planned, but she was on a roll and I had talked much less than we had planned. When she wrapped up, she turned to me and asked if I was ready. I said I thought we should just go ahead with the question and answer period and see where that took us.

Right away the questions were good. Some Friends shared from their experience. Others asked if we could say more about some points we had made. And in those questions came the openings for me to share some of the stories I had meant to tell in the beginning. And even some thoughts I had while I was preparing to come, but which hadn’t seemed to fit with my outline, so I had left it out (I’ll post that story tomorrow). Here it all came out, not all in one prepared speech, but organically, in response to the questions and concerns of the Friends who were present. It felt wonderful.

Afterwards, people were really happy with how the discussion went. The local coordinator was amazed that people “who never participate” spoke. One long time Friend said he was pleased with how Spirit-filled it felt. I think we reached the point that Martin Kelley was talking about here, where it was truly unprogrammed vocal ministry, and not just by the travelling ministers.

I’m glad we left room for the working of the Holy Spirit in our workshop. I also hope I’ve learned a lesson here and I don’t make it a habit of not having anything to say as planned. Please, God, please.

I’m really, really glad that Darcy and I were working together so that I felt more free to listen when the Spirit said “stop talking.” I didn’t feel like I needed to soldier on simply because people were expecting me to speak.

I am reminded of the old stories of travelling ministers who would call a meeting for worship and then just sit there, shut up as they called it, and who said they felt the people were too dependent on the human instrument and not enough dependent on God’s working in their own souls.

Not my will, Lord, but thine. Oh yes. Oh noooooo.

Dios Es Bueno

I say, "God is good."
You say, "All the time!"
I say, "All the time."
You say, "God is good!"

God is good
All the time

All the time
God is good

Yo digo, "Dios es bueno."
Tu digas, "Siempre!"
Digo, "Siempre."
Digas, "Dios es bueno!"

Dios es bueno
Siempre

Siempre
Dios es bueno

QHD 2007, the longer version

Third in a series of seven posts about QHD 2007

Saturday was the fourth annual Quaker Heritage Day at Berkeley Friends Church. The first speaker was Hugh Barbour, second was T. Canby Jones, last year it was Margery Post Abbott and Peggy Senger Parsons. A few moments on Saturday afternoon were dedicated to holding Peggy Parsons in the Light, as we heard she had just returned the day before from two months of training trauma healers in Burundi. Last year was my first time at QHD and I was just about blown over by the experience. It was a more low-key presentation this year, but then it pretty much had to be.

This year's speaker was Brian Drayton, author of On Living with a Concern for Gospel Ministry, one of the biggest sellers at last year's QHD book table.

I think I counted 12 adult attenders from my Meeting alone. Maybe a fourth or fifth of the event. Pretty much all the regular attenders of the Thursday night study group. Bet the discussion this week will be rich. (Alas, I'm providing childcare for the Executive Director of the HEART of San Mateo County while he attends a county planning meeting.)

I've struggled a bit with what to say about the talks. But plain speech is winning out. I don’t think that Drayton presented much that was really new to me. Using Bownas’s categories of milk for babes or meat for grown men, I felt like I was being fed bananas or avocados – nutritious, but nothing to really chew on, nothing spicy hot. Chris M. took better notes than I did, and he’ll probably post some of the juiciest nuggets. Nonetheless, I think it was good to soak in the atmosphere for a whole day. And other Friends were deeply moved by the whole thing. I think I just didn’t manage my expectations very well.

In the closing worship, I had these words but no opportunity to share them, so here they are:

Just as prayer can be a full-body experience, ministry can be a whole-life experience.

I was thinking of my Friend Elizabeth’s image of praying for the world’s children by hunching over like a woman in labor, crying “Save my baby!” Or the image of a novice entering religious life fully prostrate, face down on the floor, in submission to Christ. And I was thinking of all the ways are lives are called into holiness, into seeking perfection, in order to become a clear channel for the presence of God in gospel ministry. Earlier in the day I had used words like purity, chastity, temperance and humility. Brian Drayton had added time management or avoiding over-busyness to the list. Which was both disappointingly mundane and absolutely accurate.

I don’t know if BFC will have QHD again next year, since Max Hansen is leaving the pastorate, but I sure hope so. If you have suggestions of possible speakers, I’d be happy to pass them on to the church leadership.

Practical advice for encouraging new gifts in vocal ministry

Here is one small practical piece of advice I’m taking away from Brian Drayton at Quaker Heritage Day at Berkeley Friends Church.

I asked a question about how to deal with emerging gifts in vocal ministry: how to notice and encourage a new minister without stepping on the tender shoots nor inflating beyond good measure?

Drayton recalled a Friend he had known who would come up to you after meeting for worship and say, “I was thinking about what you said in there. And it made me think … (whatever had come up for him).”

It let you know that he had noticed and gave an idea of his reaction. But it wasn’t empty or awkward praise or discouragement.

I like this suggestion a lot and I’m going to try to practice it. What do you think?

Quaker Heritage Day 2007

Gospel Ministry and the Quaker Way

March 3, 2007
9:00 am - 3:30 pm

Berkeley Friends Church
1600 Sacramento St., Berkeley, CA 94702
510-524-4112

RSVP: office@berkeleyfriendschurch.org
Pre-registration by 2/19 is appreciated so that they can plan lunch.
Pre-registration is required if you need childcare.
[My kids are already signed up.]
Suggested donation: $20 per person

Brian Drayton will take us on a tour of Quaker understandings of Gospel Ministry, past, present, and future. If you care for how God's truth is spoken in -- or outside -- of our meetings, this event is for you.

Session 1: Variations on Several Themes: Friends Ministry Through Time

Session 2: Disorder Under Heaven: Is Gospel Ministry Relevant To Our Calling Today?

Session 3: Meetings, Ministry, and the Seed's Victory

And bonus Sunday sessions

I would also like to gather convergent/blogger Friends for dinner afterwards. This was a wonderful Opportunity last year. If you'd like to come, please leave me a comment or send an email to the address in my profile and I'll send you the details.

I've written before about reading Brian Drayton's book, On Living With A Concern For Gospel Ministry.

Here's the bio from the flyer about QHD 2007:

Brian Drayton of Weare (NH) Monthly Meeting is a plant ecologist working in science education research. He has traveled extensively in the ministry carrying a concern to encourage those who contribute to their meeting's ministry. He has given workshops, retreats, and addresses on a range of topics in Quaker history and belief for monthly, quarterly, and yearly meetings and Pendle Hill. In 1994, he published Selections from the Writings of James Nayler. In 2003 he was one of the originators of the Quaker Peacebuilders Camp, a program for teaching nonviolent action based on Quaker spirituality. His most recent book, On Living With a Concern for Gospel Ministry, was one of the best sellers on the book table at the 2006 Quaker Heritage Day.