Cups of Tea and Hammer-strokes

I may be suffering from a lack of ordinariness. Most of my life, I have wished for exciting things to happen to me. And now that they are happening, I miss the simple things that I don’t have time for. Like making jam. Gardening. Sewing. Teaching First Day School. Serving on clearness committees.

Recently, I was at an international committee meeting that was hosted by Friends in a thriving meeting in a small town. I was really touched by the obvious care and concern and interwoven nature of their personal lives and their meeting life. It made me think of two passages on marriage that I love, in Catherine Whitmire’s book, Plain Living,

“We thank God, then, for the pleasures, joys and triumphs of [life together]: for the cups of tea we bring each other, and the seedlings in the garden frame; for the domestic drama of meetings and partings, sickness and recovery; for the grace of occasional extravagance, flowers on birthdays and unexpected presents; for talk at evenings of the events of the day; for the ecstasy of caresses; for gay mockery at each other’s follies; for plans and projects, fun and struggle; praying that we may neither neglect nor undervalue these things, nor be tempted to think of them as self-contained and self-sufficient.”
from London Yearly Meeting, 1960.


And a poem by Ellen Sophia Bosanquet, from 1938:

If truth be told,
It was not priest, who made us one,
Nor finger
circled with gold,
Nor soft delights when day is done
and arms enfold.
These bonds are firm,
but in death-storm
They may not hold--
We were welded man and wife
By hammer-strokes of daily life.

[Bold emphasis mine]

I think these two images, the kind gestures of the cups of tea we bring each other, and the hammer-strokes of daily life, are both key to marriage and to meeting-life.

It takes time and active participation to be part of a meeting, just as marriage takes work and attention. It’s the same drudgery of washing dishes or making a budget work. The important conversations (and cups of tea) at the kitchen table late at night or in clearness committees for marriage or membership. The misunderstandings, getting hot under the collar, practicing forgiveness and receiving forgiveness, year after year. This is what makes a meeting or a marriage.

Any marriage is part of a family made up of marriages, and part of a wider community. This is where we learn that while every marriage is unique, it has a lot in common with other people. Likewise, a meeting needs the family of yearly meeting, and a wider community of Friends, where we sometimes learn other ways of solving our problems and sometimes we learn just to be grateful for what we have, and the problems we don’t have.

I don’t think I could do the job I have now without the grounding of 17 years of being part of San Francisco Monthly Meeting, the support and the hammer-blows of our daily life together. I think I need to be more connected to my new meeting, to stay fluent in Quaker practice, and to be a coherent, spiritual human being, in order to continue to be a blessing to the wider family of Friends.

I know I couldn’t do my job without the ongoing support and dedication of my husband. I have also learned a lot that is useful in this job from being a mother. I am blessed. I am grateful.

Attending Community Meeting for Worship, 2003

Yesterday in worship, I was strongly reminded of an experience in worship at my son's school from a few years ago. Tonight, I found an article that I actually wrote about the experience at the time. I still think it's relevant, even if it's older than this blog...

Earlier this fall, after dropping my son off – actually walking with him into the school for the first time since the very first day – and going out for a quick cup of coffee with another mom, I settled into the small group of facing chairs in the Meeting Room. Since it was only the second week of school, the children still had their (brief) meetings for worship inside their classrooms. The adults – about ten parents, staff and board members – met in silence in the central hall. During that half hour, children came in and out, to visit the bathroom or other classrooms. We could hear teachers speaking and general noises of a school in session. Yet for me, the expectant hush among us was worshipful - full of the Spirit. The noises were food for contemplation, not interruptions. I had a deep sense of the power of having a core of adults worshipping together at the center of the school, with the classes going on all around us.

Nowadays, the children come in and sit in a square in the center of the Meeting Room. The adults sit or stand in rows around them. There are still noises of children (and adults) fidgeting, whispering, settling in. Last week, just for an example, my own son was so caught up in pretending to be some creature with fangs that a teacher had to remind him to hold his body still. (His sharply whispered response: “But I’m being silent!”) I try as much as possible to center down, to practice my best Sunday-go-to-meeting-techniques, but I can’t help just watching the children some of the time. However, it is a powerful image for me that now the adults are gathered around the children who are worshipping together at the center of the school. I have a sense of holding them in our arms, in our hearts, holding them up to God.

Both arrangements of meeting for worship speak profoundly of adults holding children in the Light, respecting their learning and supporting their spiritual growth. For me, this is one of the keys to Friends education. The monthly community-wide meeting for worship at SFFS has become a regular part of my spiritual practice. I am so pleased to be able to come to know my son’s school community in this way. I believe the school benefits as well from a regular period of retirement from their regular work, coming together into a quiet, open,and loving space in the midst of their everyday life.

Published in November 2003, in the San Francisco Friends School family newsletter.

What do you want out of First Day School?

This month I’m going off the News committee (newsletter, website, asstd. other outreach activities) for my Meeting and back onto the Children’s Religious Education committee. I think it’s been six years since I last served on our Meeting’s CRE committee.

In the last round, my big project was to start a more intentional curriculum for preschoolers. Now my main concern is to build a more intentional program for middle schoolers. Funny how our interests change over time, huh? Especially as my children age into and out of these groups.

The program that the committee set up nine years ago is still officially the plan, although it’s not fully functioning anymore. Each month, the theme corresponds to the topic of the PYM Advices and Queries for the month. There is a four week rotation of teachers so that each month, the teachers will each take a turn addressing the topic. We have a great collection of curricula that we bought from the FGC bookstore over the years.

What’s been missing for a while now is an organizing force. Someone to plan ahead, to check in with teachers, to organize teacher training, etc. But I think that our new committee Clerk (not me) has that ambition for the committee so I’m not so worried about that.

The other thing we did, back in the olden days when I was clerk, sonny, was to have a series of discussions, on the committee and in the meeting for business, about what were the goals or purpose of First Day School. We asked a broad range of Friends, “What do you want our children to get out of our FDS program?” There were a lot of different answers, of course, but I think we were able to identify some common elements and to keep them in mind as we prepared our curricula for each year. That really helped us make choices and provide some cohesion to our program.

So I’ve been thinking again, now that I have more experience as a parent and as my older son reaches the end of his FDS time, what do I want my children (or all children) to get out of First Day School?

I want them to learn how to be a Quaker.

What do Quakers do in meeting for worship and why do they do it that way?

How do Quakers make decisions, as a community and in their personal lives: about the work that they do, how they spend their time, how they treat other people, what they consume or not?

By the end of eighth grade, I’d like them to have covered what they need to know to become a member of our meeting. Starting in 9th grade, or age 14 more or less, I’d expect my children to come to meeting for worship like an adult and seek religious education in other ways.

And I want them to be able to explain it. This is the range of Quaker belief on such & such a topic, and I fall ___________ (wherever they are) on that subject.

If our FDS made it that far, we’d be amazing.

What do you want our children to get out of their religious education program?

Opportunities in Spring 2010

Whenever I’m going to an interesting Quaker gathering, I try to write about them on my blog to encourage others to come. There are two such opportunities coming up in the next few months.

The first event is the Annual Meeting of the Section of the Americas of the Friends World Committee for Consultation. This year it’s being hosted by Baltimore Yearly Meeting, at a camp near Reistertown, Maryland, a little northwest of the city of Baltimore. The dates are March 17-21, 2010. Registration is still open through February 22. For local Friends, there are opportunities to attend the evening sessions without registering for the whole thing or staying overnight. The website has more details.

As long time readers of this blog know, my appointment as a representative of Pacific Yearly Meeting to the Friends World Committee for Consultation has been a great gift to me. The opportunity to travel each year to a different part of the Quaker world has opened many new doors. This all began four years ago when I was invited to help lead a workshop during the sessions about convergent Friends, with Wess Daniels, Shawna Roberts, and David Male. You can read more about these prior events – click on the tag FWCC at the bottom of this post for more of my blogposts.

The second is Quaker Heritage Day on April 10, 2010. Every year, Berkeley Friends Church hosts a day long seminar with a well known Friend (or two) on a topic that connects Quaker history with our contemporary practice. This year the speaker is Carole Dale Spencer, author of Holiness: the Soul of Quakerism, from Northwest Yearly Meeting. Here’s part of the description from the flyer:

“Holiness is an idea that has been more divisive than uniting for the Society of Friends. Yet it was unmistakably important in the experience and faith of the first Quakers. Carole Spencer maintains that holiness, while neglected by many Friends today, provides an ‘ongoing thread that serves as the common denominator of normative Quakerism’. Nor was holiness solely the domain of nineteenth-century revivalist Friends. In fact, we can see various aspects of holiness in the lives of Quakers throughout our history and in each of our divergent traditions. What's more, understanding holiness as a ‘spiritual quality in which human life is ordered and lived out as to be consciously centered in God’ opens the way for us to see the possibilities for our own lives, whether we might consider ourselves to be evangelical, liberal, mystical, or some other kind of Friends.”

The program opens with breakfast and a book table at 9:00 with the speaker beginning at 9:30 am, lunch break at 12:45, and closing worship begins at 3:00 pm. The event is technically free, although the suggested donation is $20 with lunch, $15 without. Child care is available if requested before March 21, 2010. (I’ve already put in my request for two boys, ages 8 and 11.) The registration form is now online or you can call 510-524-4112.

I can clearly trace the origins of the phrase convergent Friends to a dinner party after QHD in 2006 that radically changed my understanding of the Quaker world. I met Wess and Emily Daniels, Max Hansen, Margery Post Abbott and Peggy Senger Parsons. I wrote about that experience in Friends Journal in the fall of 2006. You can find more of my blogposts about previous QHD events by clicking on the QHD tag at the end of this post.

One thing that I have treasured in addition to the regular conference experience of these gatherings is the opportunity to meet with local Friends, readers of this blog, writers of other blogs, local Friends who are interested in meeting Friends across the Quaker spectrum, and random guests of the Holy Spirit who have joined us each time. I have called these convergent dinner parties, and there have been several that I have attended over the last four years.

I believe there will be one in Berkeley in March (email me at the address in my profile if you’d like more details as they become clearer).

I’m certain that there will be a convergent gathering on March 21, 2010, in Baltimore, hosted by Friends of the Old Town Friends Fellowship. (You can read more about them at their website.) I’ll be joining them for their regular Bible study at 5, semi-programmed worship at 6 and potluck dinner at 7. Rachel Stacy and Kevin-Douglas Olive are part of the hosting group. I think that Martin Kelley is likely to show up and Tatiana is still looking for a ride from the Eastern Shore. If you'd like to know more, leave a comment here or email me directly.

If you can make it to any of these, COME! It will be fun.

[An early version of this post had the wrong date for the convergent dinner in Baltimore. March 21 is correct.]

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Worship 2009

For the third year in a row, there will be a Quaker meeting for worship on the grounds of the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival.
(First year report) (Second year report) (Original inspiration)

October 4, 2009 at 10:00 am.

I'll get there early with my blanket and save some seats - if you bring your blankets, we can share.

I'm especially looking forward to these fine musicians:
Ricky Skaggs & Kentucky Thunder
John Prine
The Del McCoury Band
The Flatlanders featuring: Joe Ely, Jimmie Dale Gilmore & Butch Hancock
Buddy Miller
The Chieftains
Doc Watson & David Holt
Boz Scaggs and the Blue Velvet Band
Emmylou Harris
The Claire Lynch Band
Laurie Lewis & the Right Hands
Lyle Lovett & His Large Band
Ralph Stanley & the Clinch Mountain Boys

among many more fine acts over three days. The exact schedule has not been announced yet, but more information is available at www.strictlybluegrass.com. The concert is free and open to the public - thousands of people will be there. For more exact details on where the meeting for worship will be, bookmark this post and check back in the comments.

Come early on Sunday for worship and be doubly rewarded with great seats for the rest of the day!

2009 San Francisco PRIDE Celebration & Parade

A couple of weeks ago I marched in the SF Pride Parade. I went with my kids and other families from the San Francisco Friends School and a few folks from SF Monthly Meeting.



We were right behind the Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays PFLAG contingent and with a bunch of other school groups. It’s the more family-friendly portion of the parade, but the whole morning was still a series of opportunities to have conversations with my kids about what various signs meant and why we don’t point at other people, no matter what they are or are not wearing.

The theme this year was “To Form A More Perfect Union.” The marriage equality debate was all over the place. A school staff member and his husband wore tshirts that said, “We put a ring on it.” I think they got more cheers than the kids.

It was fun, not too hot, and an inspiring but long walk. Afterwards, folks from the school can come to the meetinghouse, which is near the parade's endpoint, for a cool and quiet place to eat lunch and use the bathroom. The school has had a contingent in the parade for several years, but this was my first time.

Later that day, I took a turn in the SF Meeting booth at the Pride Festival. This was our second year in a row to have a booth. The meeting may have had one before, but not for many years. (We still have a parade banner from the early days of Friends for Lesbian and Gay Concerns (now FLGBTQC) with felt appliques of two broad brimmed hats on one side and two bonnets on the other side with their strings intertwined.)



This is the result of a new member of our meeting who has a passion for outreach. He’s still mad that it took him so many years to find Quakers, particularly a community where he could be openly gay and openly Christian. He was the driving force behind the rotating signs in our meetinghouse window with quotations from Faith and Practice. Last year he and his partner pretty much ran the booth themselves. This year, I wasn’t at the FGC Gathering that weekend, so I helped him get other people to sign up. He also had a new banner made for the top of the booth and little business cards made up with the logo from our newsletter, contact info for the meeting, and the dates and times of our meetings for worship. The top also says “Honor that of God in everyone/Silent Meeting for Worship/All welcome” And finally, he really wanted to put an ad in the program, so together with a graphic designer in the meeting, we came up with this. It’s basically the same as the business cards, with a rainbow background.

The booth also featured longer pamphlets about Quaker worship, brochures from the Friends School, and a bunch of stuff from the AFSC. After numerous requests the first day, a member of our meeting put together a list of all the meetings and churches in Northern California, since people kept saying, but I live in Fresno/San Jose/Redding, are there Quakers there? Why yes, there are. Back to the parade for a moment, one of the interesting things about the PFLAG group was that many of them were carrying flags with the names of the various cities they came from, all over California. I don't know if they do that every year, or if it was especially important this year to show that LGBTQ folks, their families and allies are really everywhere, not just in SF.

In addition, the wife of one of our members, who is a Christian Scientist, brought information on several other inclusive congregations in SF. It was wonderful to watch people’s faces light up, to see that there are other openly gay Catholics or Lutherans, etc. Even if they never go to church, a lot of light was brought to the whole situation and myths were dispelled.

I'm glad our meeting was part of it, and I'm glad to have participated. If you'd like to help out next year, let me know.

The New Monasticism in print and in person

[August 2009 Update: this workshop has been moved to May 14-16, 2010. For more information, visit this link on the Pendle Hill website. If there are more updates, I'll try to post them here, but I make no guarantees.]

I don’t know if you’ve heard about this or not but two Friends of mine, Martin Kelley and Wess Daniels, are going to lead a workshop at Pendle Hill this fall called New Monastics and Convergent Friends. You can read more about it on the Pendle Hill website, on the QuakerQuaker event page, or email Wess or Martin via the contact info on their blogs.

I’m probably not going to make it to Philadelphia in November, but just as a coincidence, a local Friend just gave me a book someone gave her and she thought I would like. It’s called New Monasticism: What It Has To Say To Today’s Church by Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove.

Jonathan is one of the co-founders, along with his wife Leah, of Rutba House, an intentional community in Durham, North Carolina. He is a leader in the coming together of a variety of intentional communities of radical disciples of Jesus. This book connects these groups to the long history of Christian monasticism, from Antony in the desert, through Benedict and Francis and the Anabaptists in Europe. Then beginning again in the 20th century with the Bruderhof in Germany in the 1920’s, the Catholic Workers in New York, Koinonia Farm in Georgia, John Perkins and the CCDA in Mississippi, the Jesus People in Chicago, the Simple Way in Philadelphia and Rutba House in Durham.

The list of 12 Marks of a New Monasticism is another list of characteristics of a religion I want to be part of. Much like Gibbs/Bolger’s nine elements of emerging church or Diana Butler-Bass’s Ten Signposts of Renewal. Each of these strikes me as a good set of measurements or goals for considering how I’m living my own life and how my Meeting is connecting our community life.

The first is “relocating to the abandoned places of Empire.” Fifteen years ago, SF Monthly Meeting moved to the South of Market of San Francisco on purpose. It’s less abandoned now than it used to be, but it’s still a place where we regularly wrestle with our right relationship to our homeless, poor, mentally ill or addicted neighbors. It’s hard sometimes, and I wouldn’t say we always get it right, but we can’t ignore them either.

Chris and I used to live in the same neighborhood. But for the last seven years we have lived in quieter, cleaner neighborhoods. How are we modeling our discipleship here? Or have we just backslid and given up? This is a real question for me some days.

Another is “nurturing common life among members of intentional community.” One of the recurring functions of our Meeting is to set up small groups that meet in each other’s homes for a meal and fellowship. We call them Friendly 8’s.

Chris and I are currently part of a group that we were assigned to because of geographic proximity. The two things we all have in common are attendance at SF Meeting and the fact that we all live in the same county just to the south of SF, not even the same town. Among the six adults and our two children, we have a range of theology, stages in life, and pretty much anything else. We have to be intentional about our community because it’s not based on a natural affinity. I mean I like these people, but we didn't all really know each other before. It’s not super-time-consuming either; one night a month we meet for an early potluck dinner and worship sharing. But it’s a good beginner’s laboratory for building community.

The other marks all seem relevant but it would be a book not a blogpost to address them all. In any case, I recommend the book to you and if you can make it, the weekend with Wess and Martin.

Twitterpost: What WOULD Jesus Twitter?

robinmsf: Going to What Would Jesus Twitter? with @breyeschow http://tinyurl.com/dd74mr on April 1 in SF!9:47 PM Mar 24th from web

breyeschow: @w2e Just a reminder, "What would Jesus Twitter" at the web2open, help spread the word, 9:00am on the 1st! http://tinyurl.com/cdr3gb #w2e6:01 PM Mar 30th from TweetDeck

breyeschow: #w2e twitters are starting; hope I'll get a spot at the #web2open 2morrow; do folks care what JC would twitter? http://tinyurl.com/cdr3gb 11:39 AM Mar 31st from TweetDeck

robinmsf: RT @breyeschow #w2e hope I'll get a spot @ #web2open 2morrow; do folks care what JC would twitter? http://tinyurl.com/cdr3gb I hope so too 12:24 PM Mar 31st from web

breyeschow: Just arrived at the Web 2.0 Expo, Geek quotient way high. #w2e

robinmsf: waiting for Web2Open session on WWJTwitter? at #w2e

breyeschow: "What would Jesus Twitter?" Got a slot! 12:40-1:20, room #1 at web2open #w2e http://twitpic.com/2ojmk

mortond: @breyeschow Hate I'm going to miss your session., but I would love to hear your thoughts and outcomes.

breyeschow: @mortond I'll post some kind of relfectin afterwards @ http://www.reyes-chow.com/. Thanks for asking.

robinmsf: RT @breyeschow "What would Jesus Twitter?" Got a slot! 12:40-1:20, room #1 at web2open #w2e http://twitpic.com/2ojmk I'll be there!

breyeschow: Jesus Twitter board http://twitpic.com/2ot9m from Tweetie

breyeschow:Thanks all who came to the "What would Jesus Twitter" session, just guessing there were 12 of us ;-) #w2e from TweetDeck

robinmsf: WWJTwitter at #w2e more an intro 2 how churches & non-profits use social media. Not enough audience overlap to drive discussion?

robinmsf: Churches use social media for internal work (organize potlucks) and external credibility (read our reviews on Yelp) not evangelization

robinmsf: Does having your church life and work life integrated online make you more likely to practice integrity? Could this be part of formation?

via Facebook: Interesting question. There is the opportunity here (some people choose not to do this) to share from all parts of your life. Raises the question if we live our lives as a seamless whole. from Bill Samuel

robinmsf: So what WOULD Jesus Twitter?

via Facebook: One son stayed home, one left and did bad. Came home and father thru a party. from @funnel101

via Facebook: b@itudes? from Lisa H.

robinmsf: Thank you @breyeschow for hosting the What Would Jesus Twitter? web2open session at #w2e Good food for thought.

wikileon: @breyeschow I missed the Web2Open session on WWJT. How did it go?

breyeschow: @WikiLeon I think it went well, had a dozen or so folks, good conversation.

breyeschow:@robinmsf you are very welcome, great to have a little more face time as well #w2e

chadstep: @robinmsf I think I just posted on this but didn't realize what I was posting and you hit it on the head

bobpearson: @breyeschow Don't be discouraged by only 12, Jesus started that way also...#w2eabout

breyeschow:@bobpearson not discouraged at all, actually about 6 more than I thought would sho up ;-) #w2e

[Actual Twitter stream regarding What Would Jesus Twitter? Web2Open session at Web 2.0 Expo April 1, 2009 in San Francisco. If you also twittered from this event, please add to the comments!]

[Thursday am: I added a few more tweets I found plus other reactions.]

We're not alone.

Quakers aren't the only ones struggling with how to balance the elements of our lives.

The other day I ran into a woman I knew slightly from an emerging church group I participated in last year on the way to my anchor committee meeting. She too is struggling with the balance between her sense of being called to pastor a congregation and the need to pay her bills, and for her it's further complicated by the fact that her heritage is in the Baptist church, which has some issues around women as pastors. It is of course more complicated than that, and I felt a sense of kinship with her struggle.

And then I read this post, "The pastoral secret that everyone already knows, but pastors keep trying to hide," from one of my favorite Presbymergent bloggers, Bruce Reyes-Chow. He lives in SF and he also happens to be the Moderator of the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA). Which I understand to be something like a Presbyterian Pope but only for two years. I met him briefly a couple of years ago, and then I've followed his journey via blogs and Twitter and mutual friends since then. (As in he doesn't really know me, but I feel like I know him.)

In any case, life is complicated and wonderful and hard all at the same time. You are not alone and neither am I.

Until justice flows down like waters

And righteousness like a mighty stream...

We made another pilgrimage to the MLK, Jr. memorial in San Francisco's Yerba Buena Gardens. You can walk behind the waterfall and read quotes from MLK, Jr's speeches, and see photographs of him giving his "I have a dream" speech and of a civil rights march in San Francisco in 1984. The boys were more interested in the waterfall than the quotes and photographs, but the place never fails to move me to tears.

Bluegrass worship this weekend!

A reminder of the meeting for worship at the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival this weekend.

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Worship

--submitted by Robin Mohr, San Francisco Monthly Meeting

The 8th annual Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival will be October 3-5, 2008 in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. The Festival will feature Emmylou Harris, Ralph Stanley, Hazel Dickens, Earl Scruggs and one of my personal favorites, Iris DeMent, all for free.

The 2nd annual (unofficial) meeting for worship on the grounds will be Sunday morning, October 5, 10 am, on the little hill to the left, facing the Banjo stage. Bring your own blanket or share mine. We'll have great seats for the rest of the day.

A show not to be missed. A worship opportunity like no other.

For more information about the festival, visit www.strictlybluegrass.com. For more information about last year's meeting for worship on the grounds, visit http://robinmsf.blogspot.com/2007/10/meeting-on-grounds.html.

New Meeting Room in SF

Today was the first day of school in the new building for the San Francisco Friends School.

After six years in the “starter” school building, the last year packed in like a three dimensional geometry puzzle, this morning children and parents wandered around like explorers in the wild west.

One of the things that struck me was the contrast between the polished surfaces of the new walls and vast expanses of glass and the rough edges of the old beams and the old floors were that were mostly painted or waxed recently, but definitely not sanded smooth.

Despite the first day of school being scheduled so late, the construction continued all around us, and will for the next several years, I suspect. So much good planning has gone into this and it’s evident in big and small ways. How the wheelchair ramp wraps unobtrusively around the edge of the playground, offering access to the little teaching garden as well as the front doors. How the ventilation system was designed to take advantage of the natural rising and falling of warm and cool air so that a forced air system was not necessary.

The new meeting room is, as promised, a glorious space, flooded with light even on this foggy day, with enormous skylights that were originally part of the factory design but had been boarded up for who knows how many years.



The benches were built from reclaimed wood – pieces of the original fir beams from this 1907 building that were removed as part of the remodeling process and converted into these comfortable seats. (Liz Opp once wrote about the spiritual benefits of benches as opposed to individual chairs.)

Some time last year I noticed that, in the architectural drawings, the benches looked really sharp-edged and uncomfortable. So I innocently asked if that was really the design or if that was just the drawing. I got invited to be a test sitter for the demo model that would be delivered soon.

The first model was too high in the seat for a population whose majority will always be under five feet tall, and a significant portion is still under four feet.

The second model was lower in the seat but higher in the back and still very heavy.

So they re-sawed the boards and came up with this. They’re light enough to push around as needed.


It has been an ongoing point for me that the meeting room did not need to be sacrosanct space. In fact, at one of the early meetings for design input from parents, the architect was talking about how special it was to design a worship space and how it would be fairly small so that it could be solely dedicated to meeting for worship, in order to preserve that sacred feeling.

I had one of those visceral reactions where I could hardly breathe until it was time for questions and comments. I tried to calm myself enough to make a measured observation that Quakers have traditionally not sanctified their worship space and that it seemed better to me to plan for it to be a large enough room so that the whole school could sit in it together and to plan to use it for other things too. He was skeptical of that idea at that time, but clearly it was heard and I think they’ve achieved a fine balance between special and useful.

In general, I have hair-trigger sensitivity around the school and its Quaker identity. It’s been a long process, and I’m still not quite over it, but this day has all been good.

I pray that each person may feel the love and Divine Presence accompanying them as they move through their days and years here.

[Post opening meeting for worship update: it turns out that these benches were all made by hand by an attender at our meeting. I had no idea until yesterday morning. Apparently, he's friends with a friend of somebody whose kids go to the school and the connection was made that way - not through the meeting at all. But we're still proud to claim him.]

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Worship

The 8th annual Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival will be October 3-5, 2008 in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco.

The 2nd annual (unofficial) meeting for worship on the grounds will be Sunday morning, October 5, 10 am, near the main stage. More details to be announced here when the HSBF site has them.

The Festival will feature Emmylou Harris, Ralph Stanley, Hazel Dickens, Earl Scruggs and one of my personal favorites, Iris DeMent, all for free.

Also Robert Plant and Alison Krauss featuring T-Bone Burnett, and MC Hammer, believe it or not.

A show not to be missed. A worship opportunity like no other.

Peace Testimony in the Window

We utterly deny all outward wars, and strife,
and fightings with outward weapons,
for any end, or under any pretence whatsoever,
and this is our testimony to the whole world.
—George Fox, 1660

New Sign from Faith and Practice

Community is the necessary foundation
for social justice and peace.
As we live in a community
which is committed to honor that of God in all,
we are, as individuals, strengthened
in the work to which we are called.

This is the text of the new sign in the window of the Ninth Street Meetinghouse in San Francisco. I was away on the first of July, so it didn't get changed until yesterday.

Tears of Joy

I’m trying to look at all the photos on the SFGate Wedding Album. All the couples, old and young, formal and casual, scared and ecstatic, male, and female. But my eyes are all blurry.

I’m pleased that our meeting still had the banner that says “Congratulations Newlyweds” that we hung for a while in 2004 when our city was previously celebrating all marriages equally. Apparently someone knew where to find it and volunteers were quickly found to rehang it this week.

I have this nudge (that I’m ignoring) to make copies of the queries for marriage clearness from Pacific YM’s Faith and Practice or Philadelphia YM’s Family Relations Committee and hand them out for free in front of city hall with a sign saying DIY Marriage Counseling. If anyone asked, I’d say “It’s definitely worth what you pay for it. Otherwise, you’ll get out of it what you put into it.”

Walkin' on the Fightin' Side of Me

If you don’t love it, leave it:
Let this song that I’m singing be a warning.
If you’re running down my my country, man,
You’re walking on the fighting side of me.
---Merle Haggard, 1970

Not exactly the most Quakerly song I know by heart.

But it’s basically how I feel about my meeting.

Over the last few years of conversation among Friends on the internet, I have learned a few things about myself as much as anything else. And one of the things I have learned is that I take criticism of my beloved community personally. It’s not rational, but you might as well insult my family. Me. My husband. My children. Most of my friends. They are all part of my meeting, you know. I take it personally.

I know we’re not perfect – I probably know more about our failings as a community than most people. It’s one of the hazards of being an in-between sort of person. I am certainly an expert on my own sins. I’m working on my beam, as much as I can.

I don’t care if you praise or criticize your own meeting/church/family, etc. It’s one of the valuable things about hearing about people in other communities with whom we share a connection. But don’t talk about mine if you’re not part of it. Or if you’ve visited once or twice. As if you know anything about us.

I continue to pray for the grace of patience, humility, forgiveness, perspective.

Lord, help us all.

Largest MFW Ever in SF

Approximately 400 people attended a public meeting for worship in the manner of the Religious Society of Friends today. Held annually in Golden Gate Park and organized by the San Francisco Friends School, the meeting also attracted park visitors who were intrigued by the sight of so many people sitting in silence for 20 minutes. It was an inspiring example of the self-control and spiritual discipline inculcated by the school in children as young as five and none of whom were over twelve. The students were joined by the faculty and staff of the school, members of the local Friends Meeting, as well as parents who came to celebrate the end of the school year together. One parent said, "It's always so moving to be here with everyone and just sit quietly together in nature. It's very spiritual."

The meeting for worship was followed by presentations to the faculty and staff by parents, remarks by the remarkable Head of School, Catherine Hunter, and folk dances by the children. The afternoon's festivities concluded with popsicles for everyone. One child said, "This is my favorite part of the school year!"

For more information about the school, visit www. sffriendsschool.org

For more information about Quakers and San Francisco Friends Meeting, visit www.sfquakers.org

[Corrections: certain factual information was corrected at 6:58 pm]

Window sign on equality

Another excerpt from Faith and Practice in our front window:

Friends' testimony on equality is rooted
in the holy expectation that there is that of God in everyone,
including adversaries and people from widely different stations,
life experiences, and religious persuasions.
All must therefore be treated with integrity and respect.

The conviction that each person is equally a child of God
opened the way for women to be leaders
in the Religious Society of Friends:
both women and men ministered
in Friends Meetings from earliest days.

Church Basement Roadshow - San Francisco edition

I've never been to a revival. Or a camp meeting. Not in the traditional sense of either of those.

I'm not sure I'd want to.

But I have met the three people who are going to speak/sing/act silly at Dolores Park Church in San Francisco on June 19, 2008.

I have also read (some of) their books. I can affirm that they are funny and smart and occasionally outrageous. And I'm going. So come on down.

I dare you to resist the altar call.

(Will there be an altar call? I've never been to one of those before either. Hmmm.)

Here's more about the event:

A biodiesel-fueled RV loaded with three of the most outspoken emergent church leaders and authors will crisscross the country this summer in “The Church Basement Roadshow: A Rollin’ Gospel Revival.” The tour featuring Tony Jones, Doug Pagitt and Mark Scandrette will hit thirty-two cities across the U.S., with a message that combines old time revival flair with a 21st century gospel. They’ll preach, sing and sell healing balm in church basements from San Diego to New York.

Jones, author of The New Christians: Dispatches from the Emergent Frontier; Pagitt, author of A Christianity Worth Believing; and Scandrette, author of Soul Graffiti: Making a Life in the Way of Jesus, are part of the emergent movement, a decade-old phenomenon of pastors, missionaries, artists, theologians, authors and “regular people” who are rethinking church and Christianity for a globalized world. Controversial for their “nothing is too sacred to be questioned” doctrine, Jones, Pagitt, and Scandrette have acquired many fans and critics based on their writings.

“This summer will be a defining time,” says Pagitt, “As we take our invitation of hope and good news to people around the country. We’re preaching a fresh way of life and faith – one that is in rhythm with the life of God.”

Taking a page out of the Billy Sunday playbook, the authors will spread the emergent message of a generous, hope-filled Christian faith in the style and cadence of the tent revival preachers of a hundred years ago. They plan to have fun with it, wearing frock suits and selling “healing balm,” but the goal is, as in the revivals of yore, to preach the good news.

“This will be unlike any book tour people have seen,” said Jones. “We’ll be barnstorming the country, shaking the rafters with our ancient-future message of hope.”

“People will laugh and sing,” Scandrette added, “But they’ll also be challenged to join the Jesus Revolution.”

[I heard a rumor that they're not officially selling their books; they're going to sell bottles of snake oil, each of which comes with a book.)

The Church Basement Roadshow has already attracted the attention of major sponsors, including Jossey-Bass/A Wiley Imprint, beliefnet.com, Compassion International, Restoring Eden/Creation Care Fund, International Bible Society, Zondervan/TNIV, Wesley Seminary, christianbook.com, Emergent Village, and BidForGreen.

Full information on the Church Basement Roadshow, including tour dates, can be found at www.churchbasementroadshow.com.

About the Authors/Performers

Tony Jones is the national coordinator of Emergent Village (www.emergentvillage.org), and a doctoral fellow in practical theology at Princeton Theological Seminary. He is the author of many books, including The New Christians: Dispatches from the Emergent Frontier and The Sacred Way: Spiritual Practices for Everyday Life, and he is a sought after speaker and consultant in the areas of emerging church, postmodernism, and Christian spirituality. Tony lives with his wife, Julie, and their three children in Edina, Minnesota.

Doug Pagitt is the founder of the network that became Emergent Village, and he is the founder and pastor of Solomon’s Porch, regularly recognized as one of the most innovative churches in the world. Doug speaks across the country and internationally about missional Christianity and church leadership, and he has appeared on ABC, CNN, PBS, NPR, and in the New York Times. He has written, co-written, and co-edited many books, including Church ReImagined and Body Prayer. His forthcoming book from Jossey-Bass is titled, A Christianity Worth Believing: Hope-filled, Open-armed, Alive-and-well Faith for the Left Out, Left Behind, and Let Down in Us All. Doug lives in Minnesota with his wife, Shelley, and their four children.

Mark Scandrette is the executive director and cofounder of ReIMAGINE, a center for spiritual formation in San Francisco that sponsors city-based learning initiatives, peer learning groups, and the Jesus Dojo, a year-long intensive formation process inspired by the life and teachings of Jesus. Mark is a founding member of SEVEN, a monastic community working as advocates for holistic and integrative Christian spirituality. He is a recognized speaker and poet, and his innovative thoughts on Christian spiritual formation have gained him much acclaim. He also serves on the coordinating group of Emergent Village. Mark, his wife, Lisa, and their three children live in the Mission District of San Francisco. In 2007, Jossey-Bass published his first book, Soul Graffiti: Making a Life in the Way of Jesus.

I know, this is the less Quakerly end of the emerging church phenomenon. But I'm still going. Leave me a comment or send me an email (at the address in my profile) if you're thinking of coming. Maybe we can carpool or eat together or something. I don't know what time it is yet, arrgh, so I don't have the babysitter lined up yet, but that's another factor.